On the twelfth day of Christmas you shant give your true love cologne.


Pepe Le Pew

I’ve sat at my desk in the office when a man shows up to work reeking of cheap, sweet or musky cologne that he inexplicably believes has ratcheted-up his chick magnet needle to the irresistible mark.

As he passes my desk, the fumes make my eyes water.

Men should not smell like anything. Other than an evanescent hint of deodorant soap when they make their first public appearance of the day, men should be fragrance free.

The airspace should be left to women. That’s who I want to smell. Women buy expensive, lovely perfumes and most women apply just the right, pleasing amount.

Women shouldn’t be drowned out by ghastly overwhelming man-stuff, splashed on by some guy who could cause bodily harm to himself and others around him if he should happen to pass an open flame.

When it comes to men’s cologne, guys, more is not better. Less is better. None at all is best.

Men’s cologne smells bad, and gallon for gallon, it’s about the same price as gasoline.

And gasoline smells better.

Don’t buy a man cologne for Christmas.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “On the twelfth day of Christmas you shant give your true love cologne.

  1. Norma Miller

    Kevin, I agree with you. However, women need to adhear to less is better! There is nothing worse than a women passing by or sitting in a Booth at a restaurant and the smell of her perfume is over the top and overpowering. It really makes you want to move. It’s always a fragrance that to me is an unpleasant smell……it stinks!!! ……just saying….

  2. Judy Arndt

    Unfortunately, most women don’t know the difference between a dab and a dunk either and they all fight with each other for air space. That leaves the rest of us sneezing and wiping our eyes all day. Many offices (thankfully) are banning the use of perfumes and colognes now since they can be just as irritating as cigarette smoke.

  3. Oh yeah, you are so right. My husband smells just right–out of the shower!!
    A little deodorant and he’s good to go. I would gag if he put on cologne.

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